I've always said one should look to the future and not to the past - but at the same time it's important to learn from previous experiences and build on those for a better future.
2012 has been a somewhat eventful year for me.
Perhaps the most significant event was to find out that I was getting divorced. I took that as a huge surprise, something sorely unwanted, and pretty much as a disaster. In October I had one particular bad weekend of panic attacks, depression as I struggled to come to terms with the situation after months of discussion
Yet there were signs for much longer than these few months, it was I guess the elephant in the room. Tough to deal with, a pain financially and logistically, but I sincerely hope we continue the final stages (house now up for sale) amicably and both have exciting happy times ahead. Our kids seem to have taken it well - both being in mid-late teens and more importantly it's taught me a lot of other things
- openness. I've never been one to discussion emotions deeply with anyone, but I soon realised that in this situation talking makes a huge difference & friends and family are keen to listen and help. Keeping emotions in can only work for the briefest of moments
- family. I've seen more of my parents & brother+family than usual, and love it. Especially seeing my little nieces, as well as going off for a few beers with my brother!
- friends. I've made more effort to see & help friends than before. I've had much deeper meaningful discussions & often found out things I didn't realise before about them
- it's not just you - it doesn't take long to realise that not only is divorce and relationship breakdown very common, it's also just one of many issues people have to deal with on an ongoing basis
- doctors can help. So I did decide to get some anti depressants when I went through (actually beforehand as I had an awareness of what was happening) the roughest patch which helped a little, but really I think it's attitude that helped the most. And one of the best things I've heard all year was from my GP who said "focus on what you can change, not what you can't". That is so so true & worth remembering always.
- self awareness - this is also something I've learned this year. How to better understand my own thoughts and motivations.
So with all of this happening & in-mind, it's clear 2013 is going to be rather different for me. But I'm at the point of seeing that as plenty of work, but exciting with achievements to be made.
In the next post I'll try and summarise some of the things I'd like to achieve, or do differently in 2013
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