Tuesday 1 January 2013

What could 2013 bring

Welcome 2013!


2013 is going to be rather a different year for me. Here's some of the things I'm planning to achieve. I'm not going to set really hard deadlines, in fact I'm not even going to say I'll do all of these as flexibility and just enjoying life is important too

Getting my divorce completed



My decree Nisi (1st stage) will be granted in the next few days. This confirms the marriage has broken down and the child arrangements are accepted and effectively means we need to plan the financial split and then can complete the process.

Financials can be a lot of work. I think we're both keen to be fair & quick .. and both want to move on. So fingers crossed this is only going to take a few months

Building a new Home


Our house is now on the market. Being able to then buy a new place at some point this year - whether immediately, or after a period of rental is exciting. I've never been a huge DIY fan but I'm really looking forward to getting my OWN place and doing what I want to do. That will include decoration, but also having friends around, the odd party (painting one perhaps?), cooking & setting it up as my new base.


Health


Increase exercise time/value - I do the gym typically 3 times a week for around 75 mins- cross trainer, treadmill, various weight machines, rowing but extending this a little, making it a little more often  or more strenuous could be useful. Perhaps some classes or a personal trainer . Might even consider trying jogging/running, though probably with a friend

Drink less - it's very easy to open a bottle at home in the evening and get through 1/2 to 1 bottle. Not every night! But still the calories and effects add up. A few months ago I drunk very little for around 3-4 weeks and it seemed to have a huge positive effect on weight :-) I still intend to go out socially with friends etc, just thin things out a bit!

Diet - actually mostly it's not too bad. I regularly enjoy salads, dislike fat etc. But need to take more care with portion sizes. Having a reduced budget could help here! I'm already salivating over buying a large bag of rocket to eat for lunch tomorrow :-)

Having an active Social Life


I've definitely started this in 2012, but need to extend this beyond the local pub to randomly visiting friends around the country, and to other pursuits - more cinema, walking, visiting sights,

Music


I'm a huge music lover. Always playing spotify at home & work. I rarely get to concerts though. Sometimes I make the excuse to myself on grounds of money or no-one to go with. But both are fixable - need to budget for some gigs, consider local pub gigs instead of big arena shows, and get better at persuading/asking friends to come along. And if no-one does well so what. Go myself. I'm grown up!

I quite fancy a festival too, though I'll probably focus more on f1 camping thing year. Still I'm open to suggestions!


Enjoying and Succeeding at Work  & in the technical community


I'm smart, and very good at some things. I know that. I need to make sure those skills are used to their best advantage and put some of the lack of direction of the few years behind me & be more assertive and go and get what I want.There'll be more thinking here in the coming weeks. I'm also going to get to more tech events to network & learn, something I did manage a little success with in 2012, but which I can do more of in 2013

Spend more time on Photography


I love getting out and taking photos with my DSLR. Mostly of architecture whilst walking around/traveling. I need to join in with more photowalks (I'm always seeing invites), and try tackling some new styles. I almost went along to try some portait/modeling photographer but wimped out. Maybe try an experience day. I know one friend has organized some where the models are basically the other photographers. Could be fun and less of a barrier than dealing with "proper" models? There's so much to learn in this space


Get to another f1 race


Having done silverstone in 2010/11/12 I could do the same 2013.
Maybe I could do spa or hungary
I've always fancied singapore
I'm close to having booked flights for pre-season barcelona testing

Time to think, budget & book -- I have plenty of f1 loving friends - some I know very well, some only a little, who head off to these races - so should be fun socially too as well as of course the thrill from the cars!

Travelling


As I've mentioned above -- just visiting places locally/UK cities can be fun - and can be combined with seeing friends, photography or other things
Getting away for a break - somewhere warm, a short cruise, scandanavia, asia - all appeal. I'd probably be more inclined to do short breaks with friends, but would consider going alone.
It's budget that probably hurts the most here....

Closer to home of course much of this travelling will be in the Nissan Leaf (about 75 mile range) - I'm going to carry on pushing this forward as it is an amazing car to own. So comfortable, relaxing -- but trip planning does become more important, as do overnight stopoffs (ok friends - I need a couch and a 240V socket!)

Building new Relationships


Ah! this one. And this is where it gets the hardest.
I don't think I have a clue about dating now after well over 20 years - not that I'll let that stop me :-)
Clubbing probably doesn't work (ok on occasion)
Despite what's said about getting over ex, I really think that's in the past emotionally
I guess the key is to have fun, common interests, communicate well & just see how things happen
Don't over analyze or have preconceptions
Build up profiles on dating sites?
Join some singles activity clubs? (not what it sounds! -- there's a local one, thames valley spice that organizes holidays, that kind of thing! very respectable!)
Bookings can be made via the contact link on this page ;-) [I jest not ...]

Chill more


I will know myself better and what I want
But I also am going to be a little more laid back at times, relax more, do more things on a whim, analyse some things less



So all in all 2013 should be a very exciting year.

Have a good one guys

Reflections on 2012

I've always said one should look to the future and not to the past - but at the same time it's important to learn from previous experiences and build on those for a better future.

2012 has been a somewhat eventful year for me.

Perhaps the most significant event was to find out that I was getting divorced. I took that as a huge surprise, something sorely unwanted, and pretty much as a disaster. In October I had one particular bad weekend of panic attacks, depression as I struggled to come to terms with the situation after months of discussion

Yet there were signs for much longer than these few months, it was I guess the elephant in the room. Tough to deal with, a pain financially and logistically, but I sincerely hope we continue the final stages (house now up for sale) amicably and both have exciting happy times ahead. Our kids seem to have taken it well - both being in mid-late teens and more importantly it's taught me a lot of other things

- openness. I've never been one to discussion emotions deeply with anyone, but I soon realised that in this situation talking makes a huge difference & friends and family are keen to listen and help. Keeping emotions in can only work for the briefest of moments
 - family. I've seen more of my parents & brother+family than usual, and love it. Especially seeing my little nieces, as well as going off for a few beers with my brother!
 - friends. I've made more effort to see & help friends than before. I've had much deeper meaningful discussions & often found out things I didn't realise before about them
 - it's not just you - it doesn't take long to realise that not only is divorce and relationship breakdown very common, it's also just one of many issues people have to deal with on an ongoing basis
 - doctors can help. So I did decide to get some  anti depressants when I went through (actually beforehand as I had an awareness of what was happening) the roughest patch which helped a little, but really I think it's attitude that helped the most. And one of the best things I've heard all year was from my GP who said "focus on what you can change, not what you can't". That is so so true & worth remembering always.
 - self awareness - this is also something I've learned this year. How to better understand my own thoughts and motivations.

So with all of this happening & in-mind, it's clear 2013 is going to be rather different for me. But I'm at the point of seeing that as plenty of work, but exciting with achievements to be made.

In the next post I'll try and summarise some of the things I'd like to achieve, or do differently in 2013